Madam Signage Sunday A bit mushySomething a little bit different for you this week – the cooking instructions on the back of some rice I bought recently.

Before we get into the details, I should point out this is fancy organic single source rice.

The sort of thing you’d buy in Whole Foods at vast expense.

This isn’t any old rice, this is your fancy middle class rice.

And very nice it is too – if you’re not au fait with the world of red rice (or even better black rice), then I strongly suggest you get on this trend before other rice eaters are laughing and pointing behind your back.

However, upmarket this product may be, their copy still leaves a great deal to be desired.

Check this out:

Clean and wash rice with thrice the amount of water in pressure cooker sea/rock salt to taste. After one whistle, put cooker on skillet/tava and lower heat to simmer. Cook for 45 minutes. It turns out a bit mushy but the nutritional value remains in tact.

Now, there’s lots to love in this sentence. Starting with the lovely use of the word ‘thrice’ – which is in very common usage here and always makes me feel warm and fuzzy for some reason.

But the real reason it’s here with us on Signage Sunday is of course the rather limp ‘it turns out a bit mushy’. Really? That’s the best you could do on making it sound appealing? What happened to the sales maxim of make every feature a benefit.

Surely they could have said ‘unlike the less healthy white rice, red rice will melt in your mouth’? That’s saying the same thing as ‘a bit mushy’ without making you instantly want to put the packet back on the shelf.

What’s even weirder, is that red rice isn’t mushy at all. As it has more of the hull on the grain, it’s actually more chewy and tastes ever so slightly nutty. So it’s more toothsome and tough than mushy white rice.

Makes you wonder just how long they were cooking it in their test kitchen, eh?

Oh and one last thing – the words I started with ‘a little bit different’ – you hear this everywhere in India. It’s touted as the best thing for every situation, from shall we go here for dinner? Something a little bit different, to if you’re looking at something in a shop there will invariably be a hovering salesperson pulling it towards you whispering that it’s a little bit different.

-:–:-

This is part of Signage Sunday – have a look at these other food related signs from the series:

Signage Sunday : Italian Thali

Signage Sunday : A taste of indian soil

Signage Sunday : Like us on Facebook

Or check out all the signs on the complete Signage Sunday page.

Found an ace sign? care to share – go on, slide it into the comments or send it to me in an email. I’d love to feature more signs from readers here…