Madam let me tell you one thing - shes still crap at her jobI found my maid asleep the other day.

Just crashed out on one of the beds.

Now as we know, she’s been through quite a lot in the last six months. But all the same – actually being conscious at work is one of those little nitpicky requirements I have with staff.

But did I wake her up?

No, I did not.

When I’m working with clients on skype I ask her to arrive after I’ve finished as otherwise she’s clattering about in the background causing distractions. Or worse comes and asks me questions about the laundry while I’m just in the middle of a client breakthrough.

After the second time she came asked me how I felt about the tea-towels being ironed while I was working, I got a bit snappy and in the voice of everyone who has ever worked from home, snapped ‘I may seem to be just sitting here, but I am actually at the office’.

That obviously struck home as ever since, if she can see I’m on camera she actually gets down on her hands and knees and crawls round on the floor doing the cleaning rather than risk being in shot.

Let me tell you it is very distracting to have someone with a cloth dusting at your feet while you try and coach empowerment to a client. Talk about the Raj continuing…

So, I now ask her to show up after coaching hours. This doesn’t suit her quite as well so she keeps edging her hours a little earlier. On the day in question she’d actually turned up two hours early and I was really rather irked. I had a lot of coaching to do and the sound of taps running and mops clattering wasn’t really going to help.

I asked her to do upstairs first – and off she went… and things got very quiet up there, till I finished work and went to see if she was actually dead.

No, not dead: asleep.

As I was going out, I just left her to it. I knew the Rentokil man was coming, he could wake her up. Which he did and I had a very surprised phone call from Sudha, obviously fresh from sleep and somewhat confused, saying ‘bug man here, I let him in?’ Please do.

She did have the decency to look very, very sheepish when I got back.

Sadly I’d missed the fact she’s left the potatoes on to boil – so instead of parboiled, they had about 3 hours on full. But being a frugal sort she didn’t throw them away, she put them in the fridge and there they sat, grey and with the consistency of rubber.

And why was I boiling potatoes? I’m Irish, do I really need to explain that?

-:–:-

Of recently weeks I’ve been going on about my maid rather a lot – in fact it’s something of a theme for the whole blog. But I do write about other things (sometimes). Check out some of those posts here:

Too many fruits, Madam
But Madam, aren’t you very lonely?
Sudha’s coping much better now

And do comment below, I love to hear your thoughts. And perhaps you should subscribe? Ah, go on!