Madam - the excrescence from the sideI love where I live.

My home is one of the great joys of my new freelance business – I get to work in the most delightful space all day.

It’s easy to write here, it’s full of light. It’s quiet by Indian standards. It’s luxuriously spacious. It is frankly a delight.

But there is one huge downside – there is a thing in my living room.

A thing that came with the apartment. A thing, that though I’ve tried, I can’t get rid of… it’s that wooden object attached to the wall in the picture. I loathe it.

I just can’t even describe how ugly it is. And it’s right there in my living room.

For almost two years, I’ve simply learned not to look at it too closely. But it’s there I tell you, it’s there. Even if I’ve learned to slide my eyes over it and not really see it, it’s there.

It’s the epitome of modern Indian apartment chic and I hate it. In fact I call it ‘the excrescence’. I can’t bear the damn thing.

In case you too are unable to look at it directly, the excrescence is that vennered shape attached, for no apparent reason, to the main wall. You can see it in the picture. It’s huge, but really, what on earth is it for?

Madam - the excrescenceOk so you could add a large screen TV to it, I suppose. But it sprawls all over the only long wall and thus stops me putting furniture against that wall. And it has an even nastier sticky out bit attached to the bottom of it so if I have my sofa against it it juts out into the room a ridiculous distance.

Still at least this way, I don’t have to look at it. I used to have the sofa facing inwards, which gave me an uninterrupted view of the excrescence. Awful.

And yet somehow, these odd lumps on walls are quite the thing in this town. When I was flat hunting two years back I saw many, many examples of them. All new and all proudly inserted into top end flats with a sort of ‘Ta da – there’s modern for you’.


There is much I don’t understand about India – but the excrescence is the only one in my actual home that invades my day with it’s wrongness.


And for those of you not familiar with the term excrescence – google provides us with this handy, and oh so telling definition:


  • A distinct outgrowth on a human or animal body or on a plant, esp. one that is the result of disease or abnormality.
  • An unattractive or superfluous addition or feature.

Oh how true both those meanings feel when I’m staring at that wooden thing stuck to the wall in my living room…


If you’ve enjoyed this post, then do check out some others about my rather delightful home (I’m not whinging in all of them, I promise):

The deckchair has finally arrived
Sometimes nearly straight, is good enough
Video : Sometimes life is simply good

And of course, do please post your thoughts below.