Madam let me tell you one thing

Signage Sunday : you don’t get that in India

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Madam - kiss and goodbyeI saw this at Schipol airport on my way back from Amsterdam the other week.

Incidentally, Schipol is my favourite aiport anywhere. Is it poncy to have a favourite? Probably, but when you travel as much as I do, you really notice what makes a ‘good’ airport and what doesn’t.

Schipol has the easiest access from plane to train to town of any airport I have ever used. It is a joy, I wish they were all like this.

If you’re hand luggage only, you can be off the plane and on the train in about 10 minutes and in town fifteen minutes after that. Even if you get held up in a queue for passport control, it’s unlikely to be more than an hour after you land before you’re strolling past a canal and feeling marvellous.

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Video : 1 minute holiday : Sunrise over the Dalai Lama’s Temple

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So, I’ve been promising this forever… well at least since last October last year, when I visited after my lovely yoga retreat in the Punjab.

The video is shot from the same hotel which bizarely had a tree situated in my room.
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I like to roam about at home in a dress

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Madam - I like to roam about in a dressShort and sweet for you this week.

But we’re returning to one of the aims of this blog – which unlike how it might appear, was not set up to whinge about my maid’s lack of dusting – but instead to champion the charm of Indian English over Standard English.

So the charming word for this week is ‘roam’.

In India it’s used much more frequently than I’m used to at home. Here it means no more than ‘to walk about’. Which technically, is of course, what it means in Standard English. But there it has an element of distance, or itinerancy and general vagueness.

In India, it has none of those shades of meaning and really does mean no more than walk about. So you get lovely formations like ‘I like to roam about the neighbourhood with
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Signage Sunday Amsterdam : Bringing back sexy since the 1700s

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Madam -  bringing back sexy in AmsterdamCheck this chap out!

I was in Amsterdam last weekend, visiting the newly refurbished Rijks Museum. Which was looking stunning after it’s 10 year refit.

But not quite as stunning as this feller.

Not only is he looking utterly resplendent in his outfit – complete with sash above his beer belly – but he is part of an active militia. So that’s a soldier boy, right there.

Look at the look on the bloke carrying the gun behind him. A look, he must have held for each one of the sittings for the painting. Marvellous.

And the socks – check out the flounces round the ankles and calves.

And for that matter, the serious chap, him with the gun and the look of
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The saree goes live…

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Madam - my first saree - just a tiny bit smugSmirking Liz again, you’ll note.

But then I was rather pleased with the final result.

And I was at quite the most fabulous wedding I’ve been to in years. With all of my very favourite people there as well, so no wonder I look particularly pleased with myself.

Anyway, this is part 3 of a 3 part post.

As I mentioned in the last post, when you buy a saree, it comes with a special piece of material to be made up into a matching blouse.

If it’s a fancy saree, these will have embellishments on them that match the main decoration – perhaps something fancy
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No, I really would like it in black, please

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Madam - draped in the shopThis is part two of a three part post.

One of the best places to buy a saree in Bangalore is the marvellous Mysore Saree.

Two floors crammed with amazing materials – you can buy suiting material, beautiful scarves and dupattas and everything is unfurled and thrown on the floor in colourful arcs for you to inspect.

One of my first memories of being properly abroad at about 12 years old, is sitting in a Zainab Market in Karachi and watching my mother being smothered in hundreds of unfurled table cloths. If you’re not used to it there’s a strong urge to ask them not to, to slow down to let you look.

Apart from anything else, there’s all that folding up to do afterwards. but of course there are people who do that. professional folders at every store in fact.
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Finally, I try my first saree

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Madam - sarees laid out to chooseOk, so I live in India, I don’t speak any of the languages.

I’ve never worn a saree.

And I’m likely to leave at the end of the year.

I’m never going to learn a language before November, so I’d best get on with wearing a saree.

Fortunately I had a very posh and very glamorous wedding to go to in the UK in March, so it seemed the perfect moment to get my ethnic on (and no, that does not mean going head to toe in Kelly green).

Oddly Indian people are always complimentary, even thrilled, by foreign ladies wearing local dress.
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Signage Sunday : Two wheelers?

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Madam - two wheeler

From time to time, I like to return to the original theme of this blog – namely the joys of Indian English.

Yes I know I’ve wandered fairly far from that sometimes, but frankly; my blog, my rules.

Oh yeah, check me out, I can be a tough guy if needed. More importantly I will eventually be moving on from India and I’d like to think you gentle reader, will be just as interested in reading about the joys of Sri Lankan English, or wherever I land up next…

Anyway, there are certain things that still catch my ear now even after being in India for years.

One of the main ones is that there are no motorcycles here – only ‘two wheelers’. Which, lets face, it is an accurate description of the machine, but rather low tech in reach.
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Cupcakes-a-go-go in Bangalore town

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Madam - cupcake selection SaturdayI’m calling it research.

No, really. Research.

Remember last year, I published a book of healthy cakes over on the Not Got Much In blog? We called it ‘Cake! 12 Healthy Cakes’ – as that seemed to cover the salient aspects of the book.

Well we’re doing another one this year – coming out in October it’s going to be called ‘Easy Cake!’ As
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Signage Sunday Movie Madness : What is going on here?

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Madam - movie poster 2As I’ve already admitted, I don’t speak any of the local Indian languages.

Terrible, eh?

But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the utterly vicarious thrills of Bollywood movie posters.

You really don’t actually need to know the titles to have a reasonable guess at most action movies.
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